For Those Writers After DEEP POV — Tips For You


Random Picture Alert! I simply couldn’t find any image on Deep POV. Hope you enjoy this one.

Before I jump into covering the header’s topic, stay tuned, for at the end of this post, I’ll be announcing the winner of last week’s critique offer. I also want to say a huge thank you to everyone who commented and “liked” last week’s post. I was blown away by your kind wishes and congratulations–they truly meant the world to me. 🙂

Okay, now to this week’s post– For Those Writers After DEEP POV — Tips For You.

As writers we all know which POV we like to write in. Often our POV also depends on our story’s genre or how it needs to be told. I love writing in 1st Person as much as I love writing in 3rd Person, but, what about DEEP POV? Where does DEEP POV fit into a writer’s world? And for some of you, you may even be asking what the heck is DEEP POV?

Ah-huh, let me catch you up on this, because writing in DEEP isn’t anything new, but so often today, publishers are asking us to take our POV, whether 1st or 3rd, and Deepen it. If you want to know more about DEEP POV because you’d like to try it, then here are loads of tips to help get you there.

We’ll begin with the five senses of:

  • Sight
  • Sound
  • Smell
  • Taste
  • Touch

When going DEEP:

  • The author must describe all scenes from what the character can perceive with their own senses.
  • There is no remoteness, and even the character’s internal thoughts and feelings form part of the writing.
  • Certain distancing words are removed. Examples of these are words like:
    • Watched
    • Noticed
    • Heard
    • Felt
    • Saw
    • Wondered
    • Decided
    • Knew
    • Thought, etc.

You’ll need to do a search and find these if you want to go DEEP, ensuring you rewrite the sentences to take them out. I’ll give you an example, from the heroine’s POV, and I’ll remove the underlined distancing words in the second bulleted point.

  • She felt her heart beat faster as she watched him lift the gun. He won’t kill her, she thought.
  • Her heart raced as he lifted the gun. He wouldn’t kill her.  (In DEEP)

Did you like that Deeper sentence?

  • Now let’s cover emotion, for in DEEP we take out words like:
    • Anger
    • Sad
    • Fear
    • Happy
    • Shock
    • Bothered, etc

There are a ton of these. Instead we use body language (wherever we can) to convey emotion–and this is truly important. I’ll give you an example, from the heroine’s POV, and I’ll remove the underlined words of emotion in the second bulleted point.

  • Anger lanced through her. She was not happy to have her choices taken away.
  • She raised her chin and stared him down. He would not take her choices away.    (IN DEEP)

As you can see, these small changes Deepen the POV, and prevent the reader from being pulled out of the head of the person whose POV they’re in.

  • And lastly, don’t forget that characters rarely refer to themselves by name. When you go DEEP, ask yourself would the character use her name, over and over? If not use her/she, but only if the dialogue is strong and the reader can see who speaks.


Okay, it’s time to get down to the serious business of the offer I made last week. For those who left a comment asking for a critique, they had their name put into a hat. What could they win? Yours truly will be their second set of eyes to go over the first four pages (or 1500 words thereabouts) of their novel. That’s the first four pages. Not four pages from the middle of the book, but the first four pages. Right, so for this fabulous critique, the winner is:

*** Kozo ***

Hey, congratulations, Kozo. Please email me the first four pages of your novel as a word document attachment so I can insert “review bubbles” for personalized editing advice. My email address is located under the “Contact tab” on my website, or of course it’s

I’ll be making this offer again in the near future as I had a great response–and I’m all for authors supporting authors. You guys rock with the way you support me on my website. I’m feeling the love all the way to where I am Down Under.

Have a wonderful week. Catch ya all later.

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28 thoughts on “For Those Writers After DEEP POV — Tips For You

  1. Hi Joanne. This was a great article. I was just thinking about POV’s and deep POV the other day. I know everyone has a preferred reading style. I love stories written in 3rd person, though I confess I’m no more a fan of one over the other with regard to 3rd person vs. deep 3rd person. As long as the story is fascinating it’s all good 🙂 As always, thanks for the great examples. This is one of the clearest explanations I’ve read on Deep 3rd person POV!

  2. I can never get enough deep POV advice. This is what I really need to work on–I especially appreciated your examples, I think I’ll post them as a reminder as I’m writing!

  3. Fellow Lyrical Press author here. This is a wonderfully concise way to describe deep POV. I’ve been talking to my CPs lately about this, and sometimes it’s difficult to describe. Thanks for putting the tricks to it in one easy to reference place.

    And congrats on your contract! Your title alone makes me curious. 🙂

    1. Hi Laura. It’s fabulous to see a Lyrical sister over here. Thanks for leaving a comment. It is difficult to describe going DEEP, but these are the tricks I use, and they work wonderfully.

      Thanks for the congrats. I’m just beginning pre-edits on Warrior now. My release date for this book is 4th November 2013. Yay! Another great lead-up to next Christmas. *smiling*

    1. Hi Noelle. This is a great question. Think of DEEP POV the same as writing in any of the other POV’s. When writing DEEP, the whole book should be DEEP. This is the same as when we write in 1st or 3rd, the whole book is in either 1st or 3rd Person. We don’t swap POV’s part way through a book, and the same applies to DEEP POV.

      Loved this question, and so glad you asked. 🙂

  4. Great article, Joanne. I’ve been doing a lot more with deep lately, although as a reader (and writer) I much prefer third. I’ve had to adapt to deep because it seems to be what publishers want. Your article presented it in a concise manner. Great job!

  5. I was given a link to your site to help me with my first novel and I must say even though my feelings were a little hurt (just a little) I do see where I need to polish my work a bit more. This post has opened my eyes to a lot of over used words in my manuscript. I plan to read word for word in my quest to polish (as I was told I needed to do) my book. Thanks for a detailed post.

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