This week, let’s chat about 1st person POV and getting it right. One would think you can’t make a mistake when the entire story is written from the heroine’s POV? But you can, and here are a couple of common errors.
To set the scene, the heroine is watching the hero striding toward her. She doesn’t want to see him and talk. See if you can spot the POV mistake.
I cleared my throat and tucked my stubborn chin in tight.
Did you see it? It’s the word stubborn. The heroine maybe feeling stubborn, and if she is, then use body language, or internal thought to show it, for she can’t think of herself in this way.
So, let’s rewrite with internal thought–for the fix is so simple to get your point across.
I cleared my throat and tucked my chin in tight. I did not want to talk.
Let’s do a second line using body language to show a fix. The hero is now in front of the heroine, having arrived. Spot the POV mistake.
He took one step closer, transfixed. “I can’t believe this,” he said.
If you spotted the word transfixed, then you got it. How is the heroine meant to know he’s transfixed? It’s telling and not showing the reader. So, let’s rewrite to see what she would see, using body language.
He took one step closer, rubbing his hand over his forehead. “I can’t believe this.”
Don’t you just love it– Such small changes in the writing to fix the POV, making it tighter. So, please tune in next week for some more tidbits. Simply click “follow” or “like” on the right-hand side panel. I’d love you to join me.